Warm in the sky
by SirGaraf
Summary: Where a tear in Mikasa's scarf brings out Eren's sweet side, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity to her.


Warm in the sky

Mikasa is flying.

The whole thing comes naturally to her. She flips and turns in mid-air, using momentum to save gas without even thinking about it. Her limbs move to accentuate the swinging and adjust her centermass, and at the same time allow command of her gear. Watching her would make you think that this is the way those moves are supposed to be done. That there is no other way. It's a sunny day beyond the branches of the high trees, and in the short instants her maneuvers bring her above the roof of the forest, she sees a clear blue sky, almost clear enough to make her forget the titans this training is preparing them for. As she descends back into the fresh shadow, her wide graceful arcs and her sudden bursts of speed melt into a concerto she is writing as she goes, the sound of her hooks in the trees a staccato that only adds to her partition. She's in the sky, and she hears Eren swinging behind her. Today is a good day.

And then there is a dissonance.

The tree she has hooked in, which appeared healthy in all ways, was rotten. As it gives way, the whole rhythm is altered on the fly, and it becomes quicker, stronger, harsher, as she uses her other hook to make a turn and a few other swings to get rid of the excess speed. But now, moving between the trees, a frown appears on her face. It's such a subtle thing, no one but Armin or Eren would be able to pick it up, but for them it would be the sign of an intense distress. The group is hot on her tail, likely to make sure she is not hurt after the short fall, but she can't think about that yet. She stops on a branch, but she is not waiting for them.

She needs to check it.

"Mikasa ! You alright ?"

Eren is the first one by her side. He snaps at her so often lately, she finds the worry in his voice surprising. In other circumstances, it would be enough to warm her a little. Today though, she doesn't even look at his face. She keeps looking for...

She's sure she has heard…

Yes.

Here it is.

Her impassive face momentarily breaks as she sees it.

The tear in her scarf.

* * *

Dinner hour is over in the camp, but Mikasa's meal still lays untouched before her. The rest of the day passed in a strange blur, as she found herself unable to really focus on her classes. She knows her neutral face kept most of her fellow trainees and even her teachers to notice anything, but she saw Eren and Armin sending her worried glances. Well, Armin's were worried. Eren looked more… frustrated ?

Does he resent her for letting the scarf he gave her be damaged ?

She knows it doesn't sound like him. She's not even sure he noticed it, as she had hid the tear as soon as she confirmed it, and he was looking for an injury more than a tear in her accessory. Plus, it's not the first time there's some wear in her scarf. Obviously it's never been something so big, so real, but he never reacted before. Even her own irrational attachment to it must be as good as incomprehensible to him, so it doesn't make sense that he minds the fact it's torn. Maybe he even wants her to get rid of it now. Maybe he has wanted that for a long time, for her to understand the warmth he gave her the day they met was no longer hers, and that now that it is finally damaged, because she didn't take care of it, now she needs to let it go…

Mikasa sighs. Alone in the mess, such a display is unheard of for her, but she can't stop it. She needs to get her head back in the game. Those thoughts have eaten at her all day, the worry even worse than her hurt at having her precious scarf torn by the middle. She finally accepts that she won't be eating anything tonight and pushes her plate as she stands. She goes to leave the mess when he comes in.

"Oi Mikasa. I searched half the camp for you."

Without his jacket and gear, Eren looks a bit like he used to before… before. Those were sweeter days, and so was he. Sure, some weeks after taking her in, when he understood that she was capable enough without him protecting her, he changed a bit, but he still had time for her back then. She often thinks about it…

"Mikasa !"

His voice takes her out of her reminiscing, and she looks at him again.

"Sorry…"

"Shit, you've been out of it all day. That's not like you." His look falls on her untouched plate. "That yours ?"

She nods.

"Damn it Mikasa, you need to eat. Come with me, and take it with you."

She stops a bit at that. It's forbidden to take food and plates out of the mess. And come with him ? Why ? Does he intent to feed the meal to her, as she did that roll of bread three years ago ? A ghost of a smile almost comes to her lips at the memory. As if. But still, it's Eren. So of course…

"Sure."

* * *

A few minutes in the walk, she notices the small bag he was carrying. It tells a lot about her state that she's missed something about Eren for so long. But he doesn't say anything about it, and neither does she.

He takes her to the border of the base, in a corner out of the way but still lit by a street light. It's a place she hasn't seen even on two years on camp. As she looks about to see if there is something special to it, Eren sits crossed leg and looks at her expectantly.

"Give me the scarf."

Mikasa's heart stops.

Why ? Her shallow hope of him not noticing the tear shatters, and with it come back all her other fears. Is he going to get rid of it ? Is he sick of seeing it on her ? Or does he want to take it back ? Does she no longer deserve it now that she's broke it ? Doesn't she even deserve the broken thing ?

She puts her hand on the scarf, and begins untying it. It's a bit awkward, her hand moving less easily than what she's used to, and the way it's tied different from usual. But still, she unties it.

_Be strong._ She hopes he just wants to take it back. At least this way she might deserve it again one day. She'll be better, protect him better, find a way to do so that doesn't make him feel less, and then he'll want her to have it again._ Yes._

Then the scarf leaves her neck, and her resolve with it.

Her hand trembling, she forces herself to move it towards Eren. But she can't stop a soft cry from her lips.

"Please…"

… _don't let me get cold again._

But he takes it from her, and she can't bring herself to look at him as he does, and she just hears him reply…

"Don't worry, I'll give it right back."

_What…_

Her head whips towards him.

_What was that ?_

His voice sounded… soft. And looking at him she sees what she missed in the last minutes.

His bag's open, and out of it are two knitting needles and a ball of yarn.

Then, without saying anything else, he starts knitting.

_Eren… ?_

Her heart starts beating again, but this time it's the world that's stopped. She doesn't understand the scene before here. Her mind can't parse the situation, so far from what she expected, what she feared…

_Are you…_

Cross legged before her, mute as if it was obvious what he was doing, as if of course he would be doing it, and it was inconceivable to even think otherwise, Eren was...

… _fixing the tear ?_

Her eyes softly gloss over as she watches him. It's been so long since she last saw him do that…

Sitting and unmoving but for his hands, he's looking calm and peaceful. Then he frowns at a stitch he struggles with and mutters a swearing under his breath. A smile slowly, ever so slowly, begins tugging at her lips. _As calm and peaceful as he can be_, she thinks to herself.

She doesn't know how long it takes, how long she watches his knitting. She remembers his father first taught him to sew when he was curious about his job, and then his mom tricked him from there into knitting. Memories of him sticking to it but making her swear not to tell anyone cross her mind and she stands just besides him, reveling in the warmth that is building in her. Eren is fixing her scarf. With his own two hands, he is repairing the scarf he gave her this dreadful and fateful day. He's said he'll give it right back. He still wants her to have it. He still wants… to keep her warm.

When finally he's knitted the tear together and he puts the scarf down, the smile has fully blossomed on her face. The yarn he used is darker, redder than the rest of the scarf, the fix clearly visible, but she doesn't care. Even if her precious scarf keeps the scar that she gave it, all that matters is that Eren was the one who fixed it. After all these years, the hardships and his snapping and her maladroitness, the time he spends training with Annie... he still cares. He still… wants her. They can stay together.

Feeling happier than she has in months, she waits as he moves it, for him to give it back to her, when he starts knitting again instead.

"Eren ?"

"There's no way I am letting this yarn go to waste." He mumbles, pointing at the ball and stubbornly keeping his look on the scarf. Then he adds. "You should eat. This is going to take some time."

It's only at his words she realizes she is still holding the plate she took from the mess. Still not understanding what exactly he's doing, she decides to trust him and start eating. The food is cold now, as cold as the air around them, but she finds the meal to be the best she had in a long time. The calm and easy mood she's sharing with Eren, so rare lately, soothes her like a lullaby. Then, when the meal is done and her stomach feels pleasantly full, she goes to put her plate down and notices he changed the spot he was knitting on. She looks on curiously, then it hits her.

Eren is knitting stripes.

Silently, without looking at her or asking, Eren is knitting stripes on her scarf.

She was worried he was fed up with her. She was worried he didn't want her to have the scarf anymore. She even worried… he wanted her to leave. He wanted to leave her.

But here he is, fixing her scarf, the scarf he gave her, that she's kept all those years, her precious scarf, and he's... upgrading it, making it more durable and, even, more beautiful.

Then Mikasa is 9 again, and there is nothing more beautiful that this scene she's looking at. For the first time in forever, a tear sheds from each of her eyes. This Eren, stubborn and struggling but so eager, kind yet unwilling to admit it, is as sweet as he used to be. This is the boy who gave her his scarf and his home. Another tear drops along her cheek. She's so glad. She was so scared this boy had died alongside his mother. She feared that all who was left was the boy who killed two grown men to save her, the boy that gave her the will to fight. And that would have been enough, for she loved him, her rescuer, but this was so much better. This was her savior. This was, without a doubt, _her_ Eren.

And she's so happy, she fears any move she'll do will burst the bubble, will make him snap and make this Eren leave again, but still it's been so long, she so much wants more of him, she can't stop herself. With a shyness and awkwardness that would leave anyone but her childhood friends bewildered, she sits behind him, and let her back touch his. Then, with a voice that's so soft and fearful only this perfect night can allow it, she asks :

"Is this alright ?"

She feels his shrug more than she hears his voice.

"Sure. It _is_ getting colder."

The smile on her face, the one that would make people think her lips were afraid to let go now that they finally remembered how, her smile grows even wider. This answer was so _him_. The familiarity of it, the comfort of his back against her, finally allows her to relax. She puts more of her weight against him, and easily slips into the talking that used to be so natural for them.

"Where did you get the yarn ?"

"There's a guy in the bunkers, swears that he's able to get you anything. Never once saw him not delivering."

That sounds useful. "Why don't I know of it ?"

"He doesn't want girls to know." She had forgotten how cute he sounded when his tone turned sheepish. "Something about how requests for feminine stuff make him uneasy. Swore to never take an order from someone who let it slip. Though I could order for you if you want something."

The warmth spreads in her chest. This Eren is so good to her. "I'll keep it in mind. But that must have been pretty short notice."

"He can be quick if you pay extra."

"Oh. How much do I owe you ?"

He snorts. "Don't be dumb. What's mine is yours."

She rests her head on his shoulder, before playfully asking "Then shouldn't have you asked for my opinion before spending our money ?"

She feels his cheek brush her hair for a second when he softly replies "That's what mom used to say to dad when he brought back a gift for her…"

The smile in his voice keeps her from worrying he's upset, but the comparison he made actually makes the warmth in her chest split to her cheeks. She's suddenly a bit glad - gladder - Eren and she are back to back. "What did he use to say ?"

He snorts again. "You know what. He reddened and spluttered, unable to answer until she finally gave up and started laughing. Every. Single. Time."

She laughed. "It used to make you so pissed."

"I mean, come on ! Every time !"

She laughs again, basking in the familiarity of their interactions. She can feel, little by little but yet so quickly, they get to the same wavelength. The one that was theirs since they were 9, when both could talk easily and hear what wasn't being said.

"It's been a while since I heard you laugh."

She stops her breath, then sighs gently. "It's been a while since we were like this."

A pause.

"I know." _I'm sorry._

"It's also been a while since I saw you knitting." _It's alright._

"You've always been better than me at it."

She plays it back in her mind, but there is none of the bitterness that tended to be in those comments lately.

"Then why did you decide to do it ?"

"You know…" _Don't ask._

"I would have been glad enough even if you just gave me the yarn." _Please ?_

Sigh. "I thought you would like it better if I was the one to do it."

There was something there… "You thought about that on your own ?"

"Yeah…"

Without the rest of her body moving, her hand reaches behind her back and softly pinches his ear.

"It's hot." _Liar._

"Come on !" He yelps. "Mom should never have told you about that."

"I am sure I would have figured it out on my own."

"I am not so sure. I don't lie that often."

Giggle. "You used to though."

Chuckle. "Maybe. But I wasn't really lying just now. It was my idea to fix the scarf. Someone just helped me… understand what it meant."

She perks up a little. "Really ? What did you think it meant ?"

He shrugs softly, careful not to disturb her too much. "Honestly, I didn't think much about it. I did notice it but… I just thought maybe you often felt cold."

There's an expectant silence after that, and he can feel her tensing a bit, and he worries he said something wrong again and...

And then Mikasa can't hold it anymore. She bursts out laughing. This is just _so_ him. Dumb and dense and awkward and obvious and eager and strangely right all at the same time.

Body unmoving and keeping her cheek to his shoulder, she laughs and laughs, until her belly hurts and tears are running down her face, while his mumblings and "Come on…" only serve to get her started again, especially when she can _feel_ he isn't really mad, that even maybe he's doing it on purpose just to keep her laughing, and it feels warm in her heart and she doesn't really know where her tears are coming from anymore.

Then after some minutes, feeling good and content she finally calms down, and she closes her eyes against his shoulder. "I don't think you were so dense before." She says, some mirth still in her voice.

"I had… fewer important things in my mind before."

"Fewer ?"

"You know."

"Do I ?" _Please ?_

"You do." _You know._

"Maybe I do." _All right._

"Hmm." _Thanks._

"So… Everybody's impressed with how much you improve during classes you know. The girls often talk about it."

"I sure hope everybody's impressed. I work my butt off in training."

"I work too."

"You do. But everything seems to come naturally to you." Again, no envy in his voice. More something like… dreaming ? "Watching you in the 3D maneuvers… It's as if you're flying. Far above us."

The blush comes again, strong enough to put bashfulness in her voice. "You think ?"

"Yeah. You're so good… it's beautiful. But… when I am thinking about titans... it's hard, not being envious of your skill." _I'll probably be an asshole again tomorrow._

"I know Eren is like that. But it's also nice, when he isn't." _It's alright. I understand. But we're not tomorrow yet._

She hears the dry smile in his voice "If you say so." _I don't deserve you._

"I do." _You do._

"Hey. I am done with it. Had just enough yarn."

She turns until they're shoulder to shoulder, and looks at the scarf. It's still the same, color and form she could recognize among a thousand others, but the stripes make it look… fuller. Deeper.

"I like it." _I love it._

"Cool." _I am glad._ "Here..."

Like a deer in the headlights, Mikasa freezes while Eren, with the same motions he used so long ago, tied the scarf around her. And she barely believes her eyes when, sporting the exact same blush he had back then, and avoiding her eyes he says :

"... this'll keep you warm in the sky."

Her cheeks red and her face hot, she takes his arm and leans onto his side.

"People will ask me what happened to the scarf."

"You can tell them what you want."

She smiles again, and thinks she's done it more tonight than in the 3 years since they left their town. The scarf and what it means is intimate to her, but she's also glad she doesn't have to hide it. She feels… proud. In her giddiness, she nuzzles into him even more and puts one end of the scarf around his neck.

"Can we stay like this ?"

She half expects a grumble, or a complaint about rules, but still the scarf made her think it's allowed to hope, and so she isn't surprised when he mumbles.

"Just this time."

Sighing in contentment, she closes her eyes and listens to his heartbeat, while he surrenders to her warmth and loses his eternal frown as he closes his eyes.

Unbeknown to them, not far from their corner, a blond head finally gives a smug and satisfied smile. And all three of them think the same thing.

"**I knew today was a good day.**"

* * *

22/01/20 - Author's note : I have a soft spot in my heart for the childhood friends and the unlucky ones.


End file.
